don't call it a comeback

so i realize that i've taken a not so brief hiatus from writing this blog. don't worry. i'm alive. call off the search parties. i thought that in order to kick start my blogging, i'd cover a topic that i know very well. unfortunately, a little too well. the topic: lena dunham's boobs.

for those of you who don't know who lena dunham is, please come out from the rock you've been living under and join the world. girl(s) world.

according to google, "girls" is a tv show about a group of twenty-somethings living in new york city. conveniently, i am a twenty-something who lives in the general vicinity of new york city. therefore, i should be able to relate to the show, yes? no.

to illustrate this point, let's play a game of "never have i ever". ready lena? we'll play to 3, i understand that you're a busy girl.

never have i ever:

•  worn a mesh t-shirt with nothing (and i mean NOTHING) under it. put a finger down L-dog. maybe even 2 because not only did you do this, but you were also parading this gem of an outfit all over NYC.
• played topless ping pong. as if playing ping pong wasn't torture enough, you're now going to risk getting hit square in the naked boob by the ball and/or paddle. that just seems unwise to me. two fingers down na-na.
• deemed it appropriate to take a bath with one of my friends. now i understand that said friend was having a rough day (being a twenty-something is really the worst sometimes) HOWEVER, there are upwards of a million things i can think of doing to make my friends feel better when they're upset that don't include them getting a face full of boob. force feeding them ice cream for example. 

and that's game. now i understand in a real game of "never have i ever" both players get a turn. i can only imagine that lena could get me out on some cheap shot like "never have i ever worn a bra on two consecutive days" or something of that nature. never the less, i think i've made my point. it's time that lena takes the boatload of money that she's made to victoria's secret to get some support for her two best friends. after all, success is nothing if you have no one to share it with.